I’ve come across a lot of Only Fans-type porn featuring transmen having sex with gay men. While the videos are very hot, I find it a little surprising as all of the transmen I know personally were formerly lesbians. Is it common for transmen to hookup with gay men in real life, or is this mainly a porn fantasy?
Preferred sexual partners for transmen?
- Thread starter theplayerking
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it’s not just a porn fantasy, it’s very real. there are lots of reasons why this happens (in my opinion). I can theorize for you if you’d like, but it’s just my opinion as a trans guy
1. taking testosterone makes you horny. perhaps it's just the testosterone making them hornier than usual and more open to new partners—some doctors will warn you before going on T that your sexuality may change.
2. general gender/sexuality confusion or just genuine change
speaking from my personal experience (and im only mid-20s), i didn't grow up with much gay representation irl—let alone trans representation. being a masculine girl (or a tomboy) only gets you so far, eventually you're kind of expected to grow out of that, and the only masculine adult women i ever saw were butch lesbians.
there are definitely more reasons, but i think the most common are straight up hormonal changes & the way coming out as trans just shifts your entire world
Very interesting and thanks for sharing your thoughts. I had not considered the effects of hormones. Were you more attracted to men or women before you started taking testosterone? Do you have sex with gay men? If so, is it challenging to find gay men interested in a sexual relationship with you?
I was always more attracted to men personally, even without T. I’ve been openly bisexual since I was 12, but it’s always skewed more heavily towards men.
I’m bi so anything goes regarding gender, but I typically try not to date/fuck anyone who isn’t LGBT in some way. If a straight man is attracted to me, what does that say about how he views me, yknow?
it’s not hard to find gay men interested in sexual relationships, it’s hard to find them interested in anything long-term. Plenty of cis gay men are intrigued and experimental, but the thought of committing to a trans man isn’t even considered (which—you don’t have to be interested or consider it—but I certainly am not getting my hopes up that I’ll end up with a cis gay man for anything but a trans 101 lesson)
I think for a lot of cis gay men the idea of a trans man just boils down to ‘no more dick’ and a lot of them are not willing to commit to that because they really love dick, which I can’t really fault them for. but it is annoying from a trans guys perspective
I know from long experience that it’s difficult to get gay men to commit to anything. Thanks for your insights. Best of luck in finding a long-term partner. I didn’t meet my first long-term boyfriend and eventual husband until I was in my 40s.
- rixx,
I am a cis gay man in my opinion I would believe for me it would be more easier to date and be in a long-term relationship with a trans man than cis gay man I'm attracted to masculine features having a penis doesn't matter to me because I believe trans men are more emotionally connected with themselves and are more capable of having stable long-term relationships then most cis gay men and as a 44 year old gay man I have dated and been with men, only to be heartbroken and emotionally damaged because I wanted something deeper they could not provide to the point I no longer date anymore and pretty much giving up on love. It does not mean that there are gay men that are not capable of this I have a couple of friends that are cis gay men and they both have been in a long-term relationship with each other for over 20 years but in my experience majority of the time I just don't see it
I was going to say something similar, being a man is not just about having a dick or not. So I think if a cis gay man is attracted to a transman, it doesn't really matter what he has under his clothes. It's more about how connected we are to our masculinity and obviously it can depend on what the cis man likes or dislikes, as we are all different and in the end it all depends on one's preferences
Marrying FTM is same as marrying cis man, with additional benefit: you both can make kids (depending on the FTM)
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