Losing hope on bottoming, help needed.

[Angelit]

Right, how do I start this?

It aches me bad to say it but I think I might lose hope on having sex. I have always liked men, I’d go as far as say I love men. And it goes beyond just the idea of sex, boys are just so precious and perfect. Fell in love with plenty and the idea of a mlm relationship is my goal.

I never considered being a top, although I’ve already had the “go on, stick it on” instinct at some hot hookups it never really was a possibility for me. For once: I don’t like the idea of being dominant, second: I have this really annoying thing on my dick that makes penetration really painful and my gland really sensitive. So being a bottom was kind of natural to me. The first time I had sex was a loong long time ago, 2017 to be more precise. The boy was really hot and the situation was so exciting my brain doesn’t let me think anything bad of it but since then I don’t think I’ve truly enjoyed bottoming a single time.

I’ve already fricked with 3-4 different guys and I don’t really think I felt pleasure with none of them, all of the encounters were pretty spaced time-wise so every time I went to do it again my b hole was sealed shut like a fucking nasa cabin os some shit like that, causing more pain and a long time to get the hole right. The last time, while being pounded, I went as far as battling with inner thoughts that screamed “you’re not liking this, this hurts” but kept taking due to the peer pressure of the situation (not that the guy would be a dick about it he was actually the sweetest dude ever, I just would’ve felt like shit for making him lose his time). My dick goes instantly soft and all I can think about is how painful it is and how weird it feels like to have a dick going inside.

But again I’ve never seen myself as anything but a bottom, I love the idea of taking it, I love sucking dick, being dominated, I love being the little spoon, when I see a handsome man on the street all I can think about is getting raw dogged by him while he slaps the shit outta me, I don’t get turned on by porn for tops (videos of asses/a-holes getting wrecked).

Why is my body broken? Why can’t I just enjoy it like others do? I see so many videos of bottoms who take with a hard-on and explode in cum without even touching their dicks. I fear that I might never be sexually fulfilled. Please help me!

 

[MeatStickSupreme]

Its good that you know where you stand in terms of your sexual role. It seems that the main issue is down to the actual physical act of bottoming.

The truth is that bottoming takes practice and prep. You need to go out and buy a few dildos and sex toys of different sizes. Start with the smallest and work your way up. Learn to understand the different sensations and feelngs that your anus and prostate offers.

Buy and use plenty of lube. If you dont need to lie on a towel to avoid all the mess you arent using enough lube lol.

Also some of the anxiety and negative feelings could be coming from worries about having an accident back there. Check out online guides on hoe to douche and prep.

But the most important thing is to practice explore and have fun on your own so that the next time youre with someone you'll know what you want and how its supposed to feel.

 

[ILoveGames48]

When a person goes to bottom whether it’s their first time or 20th.. it’s all about trusting the top or tops you are with( just in case get into threesome or more )

Good lube and use enough to help slide in as well.. don’t just lube the head and part of his shaft.. lube it all the way to the base of his cock..

 

[bak311982]

Right, how do I start this?

It aches me bad to say it but I think I might lose hope on having sex. I have always liked men, I’d go as far as say I love men. And it goes beyond just the idea of sex, boys are just so precious and perfect. Fell in love with plenty and the idea of a mlm relationship is my goal.

I never considered being a top, although I’ve already had the “go on, stick it on” instinct at some hot hookups it never really was a possibility for me. For once: I don’t like the idea of being dominant, second: I have this really annoying thing on my dick that makes penetration really painful and my gland really sensitive. So being a bottom was kind of natural to me. The first time I had sex was a loong long time ago, 2017 to be more precise. The boy was really hot and the situation was so exciting my brain doesn’t let me think anything bad of it but since then I don’t think I’ve truly enjoyed bottoming a single time.

I’ve already fricked with 3-4 different guys and I don’t really think I felt pleasure with none of them, all of the encounters were pretty spaced time-wise so every time I went to do it again my b hole was sealed shut like a fucking nasa cabin os some shit like that, causing more pain and a long time to get the hole right. The last time, while being pounded, I went as far as battling with inner thoughts that screamed “you’re not liking this, this hurts” but kept taking due to the peer pressure of the situation (not that the guy would be a dick about it he was actually the sweetest dude ever, I just would’ve felt like shit for making him lose his time). My dick goes instantly soft and all I can think about is how painful it is and how weird it feels like to have a dick going inside.

But again I’ve never seen myself as anything but a bottom, I love the idea of taking it, I love sucking dick, being dominated, I love being the little spoon, when I see a handsome man on the street all I can think about is getting raw dogged by him while he slaps the shit outta me, I don’t get turned on by porn for tops (videos of asses/a-holes getting wrecked).

Why is my body broken? Why can’t I just enjoy it like others do? I see so many videos of bottoms who take with a hard-on and explode in cum without even touching their dicks. I fear that I might never be sexually fulfilled. Please. help me!

Bottoming is hard work and it sounds like you're putting too much pressure on yourself. You have to remember that your arse is a muscle that is used to shoving things out and not shoving things in. you can't expect to go from zero to gangbang just because porn makes it easy. Your arse needs to work up to getting rammed.

Your first step is to by some excellent lube. I highly recommend Eros brand Anal lubricant. Second is to get some toys. You can buy butt plug kits that have a variety of sizes. Start small and work your way up. Third is to find a GREAT top. There are SO MANY shit tops out there that it's not funny. A lot of tops genuinely don't care about the bottoms pleasure and think that if they just ram without any technique they'll get the job done. I would recommend hooking up with versatile guys who have a lot of experience bottoming, they tend to know how a bottom feels and in my experience are very patient and understanding and will help you get comfortable. Fourthly use a lot of lube and poppers can help too

Fifthly, stop putting so much pressure on yourself and stop defining yourself by the sexual role you want to play. When you stop giving so much of a shit about it, you'll probably find that bottoming becomes a lot easier for you.

 

[bravesoldier]

Take me seriously on this.. Find you a cool, alpha top with at least 6.5 inches of GIRTH. Clean yourself good inside and lube yourself inside well. LET HIM OPEN YOU WITH HIS GIRTH. The bigger the stretch, your hole will surrender, pain disappearing, and that big boy will slip in and show you what you crave.

Get your courage like I did and DO THIS. It seems backwards but it is true.

When the anal stretch exceeds the natural rebellion of the sphincter muscle, the pain is almost completely gone. You'll be addicted immediately as I was. Many testify to this.

GO.

 

[swimmerguydfw]

I'll wholeheartedly second what bravesoldier said above...

I'm not strictly a bottom...I'll go either way as the spirit moves me. BUT, I am a very small guy, so was most often confined to the role of bottom just out of necessity (big guys didn't seem to like being fucked by a midget...LOL!). However, like you I just couldn't do it---no matter how hard I tried or wanted to. It just hurt too much...and I got more frustrated (and tight) as time went by. As a result, I started to turn down a lot of hook-ups and relationships because I knew exactly where they would be headed.

It took a really caring Alpha top (with a huge cock as well) to work with me on it. It didn't happen the first time...but he didn't get as frustrated as I did. Instead, he was willing to stick with it...so we did. We just kept trying---a little more each time. Lots of lube, and poppers helped as well. It also helped that I rode him---that allowed me to "control" the depth of the thrusts until I could accommodate him without any problems.

Now, I can enjoy it fully...

Believe me, If I can do it you can too...

 

[ILoveGames48]

Its good that you know where you stand in terms of your sexual role. It seems that the main issue is down to the actual physical act of bottoming.

The truth is that bottoming takes practice and prep. You need to go out and buy a few dildos and sex toys of different sizes. Start with the smallest and work your way up. Learn to understand the different sensations and feelngs that your anus and prostate offers.

Buy and use plenty of lube. If you dont need to lie on a towel to avoid all the mess you arent using enough lube lol.

Also some of the anxiety and negative feelings could be coming from worries about having an accident back there. Check out online guides on hoe to douche and prep.

But the most important thing is to practice explore and have fun on your own so that the next time youre with someone you'll know what you want and how its supposed to feel.

It doesn’t matter if prep yourself .. sure do it to an extent .. but if a cock is inside he suction alone can pull more crap out of the intestine .colon area.. just depends how long dick is and thick..


And if have an accident “ back there “ clean up and move back into it ..

People say you don’t see it in porn.. the stuff like that is edited out.. from quick cummers ( that usually last a while fucking)

To no erection

All do is google porn bloopers and you will see what I am talking about..

 

[theplayerking]

Right, how do I start this?

It aches me bad to say it but I think I might lose hope on having sex. I have always liked men, I’d go as far as say I love men. And it goes beyond just the idea of sex, boys are just so precious and perfect. Fell in love with plenty and the idea of a mlm relationship is my goal.

I never considered being a top, although I’ve already had the “go on, stick it on” instinct at some hot hookups it never really was a possibility for me. For once: I don’t like the idea of being dominant, second: I have this really annoying thing on my dick that makes penetration really painful and my gland really sensitive. So being a bottom was kind of natural to me. The first time I had sex was a loong long time ago, 2017 to be more precise. The boy was really hot and the situation was so exciting my brain doesn’t let me think anything bad of it but since then I don’t think I’ve truly enjoyed bottoming a single time.

I’ve already fricked with 3-4 different guys and I don’t really think I felt pleasure with none of them, all of the encounters were pretty spaced time-wise so every time I went to do it again my b hole was sealed shut like a fucking nasa cabin os some shit like that, causing more pain and a long time to get the hole right. The last time, while being pounded, I went as far as battling with inner thoughts that screamed “you’re not liking this, this hurts” but kept taking due to the peer pressure of the situation (not that the guy would be a dick about it he was actually the sweetest dude ever, I just would’ve felt like shit for making him lose his time). My dick goes instantly soft and all I can think about is how painful it is and how weird it feels like to have a dick going inside.

But again I’ve never seen myself as anything but a bottom, I love the idea of taking it, I love sucking dick, being dominated, I love being the little spoon, when I see a handsome man on the street all I can think about is getting raw dogged by him while he slaps the shit outta me, I don’t get turned on by porn for tops (videos of asses/a-holes getting wrecked).

Why is my body broken? Why can’t I just enjoy it like others do? I see so many videos of bottoms who take with a hard-on and explode in cum without even touching their dicks. I fear that I might never be sexually fulfilled. Please help me!

It’s hard to train your hole with random, one-off fucks months apart. You should either find a fuck bud that will stretch your hole regularly (ideally a couple of times a week for a month or so), or get a butt plug and train yourself.

 

[ILoveGames48]

I will say it’s not the girth or length that’s going to matter .. whether it’s small and skinny or long and thick.. it will either have a little discomfort or may even hurt some but that’s normal .. until the muscle of your asshole and your insides adjust to the cock ..

Plus relaxing is key factor.. if you’re nervous and you tighten up then it’s definitely goi g to hurt more..


And I love the fact the person posting being a bottom takes a lot of work.. .. not just prepping and stuff( I am lower 50s and I have never prepped when I got fucked and never fucked a guy that’s prepped. And never had any incidents occur because of it …. I had never heard such a thing until I was in my low 20s about prepping.. it wasn’t a guy asking me if I prepped but a guy asking me if he had time to prep..

I was like wtf is prepping g.. and he tells me .. I said I tell you what.. we will go without prepping and if anything g occurs we will stop clean up and finish things ..

He enjoyed it a lot more .. and never did anything g causing any incidents at all..



The work that bottoms have is taking that cock in at first as it’s feels and all.. plus let the top fuck the bottoms until they cum.. people would like to think the bottoms don’t have any work.. but there’s more work to it than most tops think..

And I think where I am versatile I understand both being a top and a bottom

 

[exposits22]

1. Find a vers. 2. Find another vers. 3. Get fucked at least once a week.

 

[WTHell]

I had the same situation, I actually went to see the doctor because of the anal fissure. The doctor told me to first, get Botox around the hole, thankfully my insurance covers it. Second, get toys, glass or silicon toys and just play it yourself, stretching it. Third, use sitz bath, use bidet, be gentle with your hole. The last thing is to use a lot of lube and be active for the bottoming, if you feel hurt afterwards, use Calmol 4 Hemorrhoidal Suppositories.

After a few sections of Botox, I'm feeling much more comfortable with bottoming.

 

[dreamer20]

I've liked/loved men. Being a top never was possible for me. #1 I don’t like being dominant, #2 My dick thing makes penetration painful and my glans=really sensitive. So I chose being a bottom. Yet I don’t enjoy bottoming. The last time, while being pounded, my inner thoughts that screamed “you’re not liking this, this hurts”. My dick went soft and all I thought was how painful and weird it felt to have a dick going inside. Why can’t I just enjoy it like others do? I fear that I might never be sexually fulfilled. Please help me!

Accept what you experienced Angelit. As you stated, neither topping or bottoming suit you. Sex with your partner should mean finding out what pleases you, then doing that as opposed to willfully engaging in activities that are unpleasant for you. Please consider being a side. I.e. see if you can find satisfaction from rimming, oral, being fingered and massaged instead:

How many of you are "Sides" (oral no anal)?

 

[Stephenmass]

Some guys for bottoming have to be into the guy and trust him and communicate with him about what is going on. If he's a decent guy he will understand and go slow or have him lie on his back and you lower yourself onto him, at YOUR pace. Once it gets broken in, it's easy after that. I'd also rule out other things that may be causing it as well, hemorrhoids (sp?) etc. Things like that would make it painful. My guess is that it may be more mental, you are expecting it to hurt so it does. If someone is hurting you unintentionally because you are not communicating it OR they are don't care about your pain, end the session. Because of your first experience if it was your first, you seemed to like the guy. Perhaps that's what you need is that connection.

 

[Kanashi]

Accept what you experienced Angelit. As you stated, neither topping or bottoming suit you. Sex with your partner should mean finding out what pleases you, then doing that as opposed to willfully engaging in activities that are unpleasant for you. Please consider being a side. I.e. see if you can find satisfaction from rimming, oral, being fingered and massaged instead:

How many of you are "Sides" (oral no anal)?

i completely agree with this! there's no reason to force yourself into liking something. bottoming and topping are not the only options!